Date Published: 2015-06-01

Are You a Hobbit or an Orc?

By Adelia Ladson

I know that this is a question that you’ve asked yourself and wondered, “Am I a Hobbit or an Orc?” No fear. I’m going to give you some guidelines to go by to make that decision. You can finally answer this important question that’s been weighing so heavily on your mind.


First let us consider a couple of personality traits of each. Hobbits are generally timid beings, keeping to themselves and their own business in their own Shire. Now, that cant’ be said of Orcs, who generally are aggressive war-minded creatures who like to go into other folks’ towns and eat and pillage. So, ask yourself, “Am I timid or aggressive? Do I mind my own business or am I in everyone else’s?

Hobbits enjoy their meals immensely and eat more than three times a day. In fact, it might be said that they could eat all day if they were able to. Orcs … well, Orcs … actually, they would probably eat all day too. I guess the difference is that they would most likely eat your neighbor and definitely not use good table manners while doing it. So, never mind about that one.

Okay, two more personality traits to consider are manners and hygiene. Hobbits are extremely polite and are gracious hosts, even when they aren’t fond of having strangers in their hole. I believe they have a little pride in how comfortable and well-kept their homes are and they also take pride in their fastidious personal appearance. Hobbits like to be clean and neat at all times, even when circumstances dictate otherwise. Orcs, on the other hand, live in dank caves strewn with the debris of their spoils and the remains of their meals. Yuck! I wouldn’t exactly call them polite, as they will regularly kill each other, without even blinking an eye. You can’t expect creatures that don’t even use good manners with their own kind to use them with others. As far as taking pride in their appearance, they’re more likely to take pride in their weapons or stolen treasure. Now, yourself, “Am I polite to others or out-and-out rude? Do I look professional and put-together or do I look like I just stepped out of a dumpster”?

Hobbits have hair on the top of their feet while Orcs … never mind about that one, too. Let’s see … Orcs are really good fighters. They’re strong, have great endurance and are built stocky. Hobbits, actually, Hobbits are pretty good fighters, too – when pushed into a tight corner. They also have great endurance to keep going when properly motivated and they’re pretty stocky, especially around the middle. Nope. No comparisons there either.


I guess that just leaves loyalty, a most admired quality in anyone. And Hobbits have it from the top of their curly heads to the tops of their furry toes. You can always count on a Hobbit to be there for you in a pinch when you’re facing the worst. Hobbits seem to treasure their friends as much as they treasure their quiet evenings at home – and that’s saying something. As far as Orcs go, they’re loyal to whomever will provide them with the best opportunity to fill their own bellies. So, the final question you can ask yourself is simply, “Am I loyal?”

So after carefully thinking about those questions long and hard, I hope you were able to work it out. Are you a Hobbit or an Orc? Or … maybe a little of both.

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