Date Published: 2015-04-07

Ten Cool Swords You Wished You Owned


You've finally got your own place (well...renting counts). It's newish and awesome and all yours. You realize you have no furniture. “What's the best thing I can get to make my home look awesome!?” you ask yourself. “A sword!?” Yep. “Really?” Yep. A sword is both a gorgeous piece of art, a great conversation starter and a functional weapon. You can show it off and use it to fend off zombies (or scare the local crazies). Adults collect art and swords are art, therefore adults collect swords, right? Well, that's what I tell myself anyway so it must be true. So, if I had a limit of only ten swords I could own for the rest of my life (I'm assuming because some sort of terrible sword-pocalypse caused production to cease) here are some of my top contenders.

Cold Steel Cutlass A cutlass is the perfect combination of style and functionality.
Cold Steel Cutlass A cutlass is the perfect combination of style and functionality.
Shinwa damascus steel katana

This Shinwa katana deserves songs written in its honor. It has an unusual double-edged blade perfect for slashing and thrusting and is ready to be used on any worthy ninja mission. The unique Shinwa style of forging makes it extra special- the metal is heated to 1100F during forging making it extra tough as well as drop dead gorgeous!

Chinese war sword

Its blade is light, sharp and can cut through armor. It's fast, curved and well balanced. Am I sounding like an advert yet? This war sword is incredibly functional in battle and beautifully terrifying for display. Strapping this to my side will definitely make me feel a lot more comfortable when fighting invading zombie Huns.

Cold Steel cutlass

Pirate ship? Check. Rum? Check? Awesome cutlass? Definitely check. This Cold steel beauty is gorgeous enough (and functional enough) to make grown men weep. The half basket guard protects your hand from the attacks of any vicious enemies you may encounter while the blued blade is the perfect combination of stylish and deadly.

Viking Sword The Viking sword is a piece of art with its Celtic edging on the pommel.
Viking Sword The Viking sword is a piece of art with its Celtic edging on the pommel.
Cold Steel tactical cutlass

This is different to the other Cold steel cutlass on my list because it is well... a tactical cutlass. That makes it great for tactical close range fighting- as supposed to that other kind. Just go with it.

Damascus blade saber sword

The damascus steel blade and the genuine bone handle make this saber into something truly special. The Damascus pattern resulting from the forging process is enough to have you staring at it in a trance for hours. It will add the extra 'dash' in dashing if there's ever a need to pass of for an officer.

Black Knight's Rapier

This beautifully crafted rapier is nod back to my childhood obsession with Zorro- I got plenty of practice etching the infamous “Z” into the sand and now I can finally practice it on... trees?

Cold Steel viking sword

As an archaeologist who spent years studying the Vikings I think I basically have to include a Viking-style sword on my list. Not only that, this double edged carbon steel beauty is good enough for home defense while the Celtic edging on the pommel officially classifies it as art.

Klingon Bat'leth The Bat'leth is a great fantasy sword for collectors.
Klingon Bat'leth The Bat'leth is a great fantasy sword for collectors.
Orcrist - the sword of Thorin Oakenshield

If a high quality falchion and scimitar had a really attractive love child, it would probably look like Orcrist. Its slightly curved single edged blade and intricate grip design are enough to make most sword lovers swoon. It's great for recreating mythical battles in your living room (not that I do that) or reclaiming your long lost homeland.

Bat'leth

It's perfect for blood wine drinking sessions with Martok and my other Klingon associates (or for re-watching old episodes of DS9). Or for anything really- it's a bat'leth!

Jon Snow's Longclaw

Longclaw's appeal is twofold. It's a bastard length sword- the blade is the same size as that of a traditional long sword but its handle allows double handed use providing better maneuverability and greater power. For those of us who carry most of their strength in our legs and torsos (so everybody apart from Chuck Norris) this type of grip makes it easier to use your body strength to slash or thrust at your opponent.


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